Emotional Eating

It's very natural to be an emotional eater.  You probably grew up being rewarded with food, comforted with food, entertained with food, punished with food, and so on.  It's no wonder that as soon as feelings arise, you turn to food!  (If this doesn't apply to you, awesome!!!  You're very lucky!!!)

This can get in the way of any sort of "healthy weight" plans, because you are probably eating when you're not biologically hungry.  This can also keep you from really solving life's problems--because you are solving them with food, which is not really solving them.  

Here are 8 steps to help you with your emotional eating.  Test it out, and see what works for you.  Take it slowly.  No need to rush.  You're doing this for you--for your long-term benefit.  Be patient with yourself.  You'll need to try things over and over before they become easy.  And you will probably learn some things about yourself in the process.  

1.  Before you eat, assess your hunger level.  On a scale of one to ten, how hungry are you--one being ravenous, and ten being stuffed to the gills.    You may be thinking:  "But what if I find out I'm not really hungry, but I still want to eat?"  Don't worry.  Assessing your hunger level is not a commitment to not eat.  It's just an observation tool.

2.  If you are not hungry, identify what you are feeling.  Are you sad?  Depressed?  Bored?  Nervous?  Stressed?  Happy?  Why are you feeling what you are feeling?  Did you have a bad day at work?  Are you stressed because of an issue in a relationship?  Do you feel nobody is paying attention to you?  Sit with those feelings.  This may be miserable.  Allow yourself to feel miserable.  Throw a fit, if you'd like.  Cry about it.  Acknowledge what you're feeling, and that it is okay to feel that way.

3.  If you'd like to eat, go ahead and eat.  But acknowledge that you are eating to fulfill emotional needs, and pay attention to whether you feel those needs are being met.

4.  If you are indeed hungry and emotional, find something that will fulfill both your biological and emotional hunger.  But keep in mind that you may still have emotional hunger after your biological hunger is gone, and you'll need to address that if you haven't already.

5.  You identified your feelings, now ask yourself, "What do I really need?"  What do you need to feel loved?  What do you need to de-stress?  What do you need to calm down?  You may not be able to fix your problem right away.  Try and identify it though, and get on the road to fixing it.  Your problem may have not happened in one day--expect long-standing problems to require long-standing solutions.
 
6.  Find a temporary distraction if your feelings are too much to bear.  You may be taking steps to solve your problems, but still feel miserable.  Make a list of things you can do to distract yourself from your feelings, temporarily.  Then do one of those things.  Maybe going for a walk or run, taking a nap, reading a book, listening to music, or painting your nails would do the trick... just doing something that takes your mind off your problem.

7.  Remember the reverse golden rule:  "Do unto yourself as you would do unto others!"  I feel like people are very critical toward themselves these days.  Would you be as critical toward your grandmother as you are to yourself?  Or your best friend?  So why is it that you are so darn mean to yourself?!  Cut yourself some slack!  Maybe you are eating emotionally despite your efforts to do otherwise.  It's okay.  This is what you're used to.  You've been doing this for years.  Just go back to step one and notice your hunger.  If all you do is notice your hunger, you're still on the right path.

8.  Again, be kind to yourself.  I can't stress this enough.  If you are to busy hating yourself, you'll miss opportunities to learn from your actions.  The above steps can work (for the most part) in retrospect.

• Say, for example, you were depressed because of a break-up, and proceeded to eat a couple of bowls of ice cream for some comfort.  At this point, you not only feel depressed, but also feel guilty for eating all that ice cream.  You may think, "No wonder he broke up with me--I can't even control how much ice cream I eat!  I'm a huge pig!  Obviously nobody would want to be with me."  
• Try to stop yourself before that guilt is added to the feelings of depression.  Go back and recognize your feelings.  Acknowledge the fact that you ate because you were depressed.  Acknowledge that you felt like ice cream was all you could turn to.  Instead of harping on yourself, go back to steps 5, 6, and 7.  Ask yourself what you really need.  Find a temporary distraction.  And go easy on yourself.   

I hope this gives you some ideas to work with.  These steps definitely take a lot of awareness, and thus will take effort.  You may find yourself overly-conscious of your feelings for a while.  That's good though--it means you're not shoving your feelings back down with food.  It means you are solving some of your life's problems.  Respect yourself, be patient, and good luck!!